Peach season is dwindling to an end, and I’m told that I’ll pick the first apples off of the trees tomorrow. Honestly, I cannot say that I have much energy left for apple season. Eight long hours of hard physical labor leave me exhausted, and a deep fatigue is settling into my bones as the grueling days repeat themselves. What must it be like for those who must labor so day in and day out, year after year, until they’ve ground away their youth and wearied themselves into old age? They are much stronger men and women than I, that is certain.
Am I truly so naïve to wish for a life that I enjoy? To hope for a career that I look forward to every day, or at least one that I don’t hate? To pray that not all the adventures I long for will pass me by and remain unrealized? Or is life really just a miserable plod of surviving day to day? I cannot think of anything more depressing than the latter, and if that is the course that all of our lives must take, someone direct me to the cyanide. Can life ever be what we make it, or are we all destined to look back over our years and view the scattered refuse of our tattered hopes and dreams with regret and sorrow? But surely, surely we were put here on earth for more than that.
It struck me today—as I was pruning saplings, weeding for hours, picking apples, watering the strawberries, onions, celery, and leaks, and packing peaches—that the reason this past month has been so difficult is not the isolation or the demanding, back-breaking work. The reason it has been so laborious is because I thought I would love both.
It's hard to be young and face a future of uncertainty. You feel like you are always searching, trying to "find" yourself, your bliss, and what will make you happier than anything. You will realize, as you get older, that life is made up of so many wonderful little moments everyday, and some not so wonderful. And, believe it or not, you can be happy and content wherever you are doing whatever you choose to do. Sometimes the way we figure out what we want to do with our lives is by checking things off our list that we know we never want to do again! And believe me, even if you are doing what you love, and can't imagine anything else you would rather do with your life.. there will still be days when you have dread and uncertainty and grow tired of what it is you thought you loved more than anything. As quickly as you think that, you will snap back to reality and move through the days ahead with peace and happiness.
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